Thoughts on Marriage

First off...NO I'M NOT MARRIED!!!!!! This is not an attempt to give advice. I have recently been discussing with my significant other and friends and so I thought I'd blog about my thoughts on having a successful marriage. Right or wrong theses are just my thoughts.

1. Keep God as the head of both of your individual lives.
1. Even before you get married, both people should have God at the head of their life. It is hard to have God as the head of your marriage if you haven’t made Him Lord over your personal life. Even if both people are not at the same “spiritual level”, both should have a good understanding that God is most important and number 1.
2. Respect each other.
1. There has to be mutual respect for one another. No matter who makes more money, no matter what the current profession is, etc. First and foremost there has to be a genuine respect for one another. No two people are alike. So there maybe things that you don’t understand about the other person, but understanding isn’t the most important thing, respecting them is. Try your hardest to understand them or “to get” them and if that doesn’t seem to work, resolve to respect that difference.
3. Open Communication
1. It is very important to have open communication in a marriage. Each spouse should feel comfortable turning to their spouse about anything. When things come up in your life, after God, your spouse should be the first person you turn to. Communication does not just pertain to bad things or things going wrong, but good things, when something amazing happens to you, you should feel open and free to discuss these things with your spouse. There should be equal opportunity to listen/respond to each other. No one should know more than you about what is going on with your spouse!
4. Support
1. Each spouse should genuinely support one another. Not just financially, but emotionally, mentally, etc. When one side is up or down the other side will follow suite. You should always be your partners open ear and arms. Be there for each other, it’s in your vows!
5. Have fun.
1. So many times couples forget one of the most important things in a marriage…fun! After the kids, and the mortgage, bills, work, age, weight gain, etc. we perhaps put aside that very important aspect. We have to take time away from all the seriousness of life and laugh a little…or a lot! Don’t forget…and if you have, take time to remember…what makes your spouse laugh. Think of what you used to and still enjoy doing together.
6. Quality T.I.M.E
1. Don’t forget to put some time aside and shut out the world and spend time together…alone. Maybe go out or just talk, not about the kids and finances... but about life, your relationship, take a trip down memory lane. Or watch a movie together while cuddling. It’s up to you! Just cut out some time to be alone…maybe a little romance!!!

Romans 7:14-25 (NLT)

¹⁴ So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. ¹⁵ I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. ¹⁶ But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
 ¹⁸ And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[d] I want to do what is right, but I can’t. ¹⁹ I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. ²⁰ But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
 ²¹ I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. ²² I love God’s law with all my heart. ²³ But there is another power^[e] within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. ²⁴ Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? ²⁵ Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

One of my favorite scriptures. It so good to read this on a regular basis.

Ecclesiastes 5:1-7(NLT)

 “As you enter the house of God, keep your ears open and your mouth shut. It is evil to make mindless offerings to God. Don't make rash promises, and don't be hasty in bringing matters before God. After all, God is in heaven, you are here on earth. So let your words be few. Too much activity gives you restless dreams; too many words makes you a fool. When you make a promise to God, don't delay in following through, for God takes no pleasure in fools. Keep all promises you make to him. It is better to say nothing than to make a promise and not keep it. Don't let your mouth make you sin. And don't defend yourself by telling the Temple messenger that the promise you made was a mistake. That would make God angry, and might wipe out everything you have achieved. Talk is cheap, like daydreams and other useless activities. Fear God instead.

Just thought I'd share...Share your thoughts on this verse.

Valentine's Day...Remember Love!!!!!!!!!

Yep, it's v-day! It's here. The day so many men (and even some women) dread. A lot of people for one reason or another dread this day. The reason that I've heard so much over the last few years is people feel that you shouldn't need a date on the calendar to tell someone you love them. They feel forced to by flowers, cards, candy, jewelry, etc. They gripe and complain and run to the local 24hour drug store to pick up a simple or mushy card and a box of chocolate...blah blah blah! Well, last year I was almost convinced that this holiday should obsolete!!! But I had a mini epiphany if you will. We all have busy lives, with work, or children, bills, whatever. We may be married or have relationships, but our lives are plaqued with so much "-ness" busyness, sadness, broken-heartedness,  and many other things that can keep our minds occupied. It may not be intentional but maybe with all the things we have going in our life, we don't stop and appreciate love. We all know that we shouldn't wait until February 14th to show or express your love. But lets face it, life doesn't always afford us the opportunity to give that time. We all should make the effort. But, with all the hustle and bustle of every day life, we do have a day on the calendar, that reminds us to stop and show that special someone that we love them. February 14th simply affords us the opportunity to remember love. A co-worker of mine recently lost her husband, unexpectedly. We hear everyday about people's live being turned up side down from tragedy and pain. Having a date set a side to remember love, can be beneficial to our lives and to our relationships. On Thanksgiving we remember to be thankful, on Easter we remember our salvation, on Christmas we remember, the gift of Jesus, on anniversaries we remember that day of our wedding or commitment, on birthdays we remember or recognize a special person. So why does Valentine's day, a day to remember love, get such a bad rap? If it's because of the money being spent...don't spend any money. The idea is to remember love, not how much you spent. Maybe if people stopped equating love to dollar amounts it would mean more.

To everyone who reads this...Happy Valentine's Day and please...Remember Love!!!

Romans 10:5-15

Romans 10: 5-15
"For Moses writes that the law’s way of making a person right with God requires obedience to all of its commands. But faith’s way of getting right with God says, “Don’t say in your heart, ‘Who will go up to heaven’ (to bring Christ down to earth). And don’t say, ‘Who will go down to the place of the dead’ (to bring Christ back to life again).” In fact, it says,“The message is very close at hand;
it is on your lips and in your heart.”And that message is the very message about faith that we preach: If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved."

These verses are so powerful. I never really realized how much until last night. This verse is more than just something to recite or teach our children. This verse to me is the validation of my salvation. By confessing or acknowledging that Jesus Christ is Lord/God (a person who has authority, control, or power over others; a master, chief, or ruler) I am saved and because I believe it I am made right with God. It's so simple, yet so powerful. But we have recited it so long, we sometimes lose/forget its meaning. But my dad brought it back to my remembrance last night! God is good.

Here's the rest of the verses:
As the Scriptures tell us, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.” Jew and Gentile are the same in this respect. They have the same Lord, who gives generously to all who call on him. For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!”

Being Saved...

Being saved and being a Christian is about more than just going to church every Sunday, reading your bible everyday, and never doing any wrong. Those things are good and we should strive to do those things, but those things only come as a result or the impact of the relationship that you have with God and with Jesus Christ. Being saved is about Romans 10:9-10 which says, “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved”. This verse validates that you are saved. The act of confessing or acknowledging that Jesus Christ is Lord (a person who has authority, control, or power over others; a master, chief, or ruler) I am saved. And because I believe that this is true, then I am made right with God. It's so simple, yet so powerful.
So here is a salvation check list:
1. Do you believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead?
2. Will you/have you confessed with your mouth (said out loud) that Jesus is Lord?
If you answered yes to both of these questions…guess what? YOU ARE SAVED…and you don’t have to question it again! People sometimes struggle with how simple it is. They feel like it should take more than that, but that’s it…that’s all!!!

Dear Lord,
I admit that I am a sinner. I have done many things that don’t please you. I have lived my life for myself. I am sorry and I repent. I ask you to forgive me. I believe that Jesus Christ is your son and that Jesus died on the cross for me, to save me. You did what I could not do for myself. I come to you now and ask you to take control of my life, I give it to you. Help me to live every day in a way that pleases you. I love you, Lord, and I thank you that I will spend all eternity with you.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

Being a Christian is about following Jesus. The word Christian means Christ-like. Not being perfect but everyday trying and striving to live a life that is pleasing to God. First remember: 1) no one gets it all right all the time 2)you will make mistakes 3) most important, God loves you through it all, the good and the bad. Know this: God is the only person who knows every single thing about you, knows everything you’ve done and said (good and bad), and loves you anyway. Romans 8:38-39 “I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord”. Meaning there is nothing that we can do that will make God stop loving us. He is our father. And like any good parent He loves us, no matter what. You may not like what your children do, they may lie, they may misbehave, disappoint you, disobey you, hurt you, but because they are your child you love them anyway! God has a plan for your life. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11, NLT). He wants you. One of the most important scriptures is John 3:16 because this is where the foundation of our salvation is. It says “For God so loved the world that He gave is only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” A simpler version says “God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die”. There are 3 key parts in that verse: everyone, faith, and never really die (eternal life). Everyone means just that, everyone. Jesus died for every single person, whether they believe in Him or not, whether they love Him or obey Him or not. Faith is “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 1:1) meaning faith is having confidence and believing that what we hope for will actually happen because God will provide; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. In other words we may not see it but we still believe it! Eternal life, according to John 17:3 Jesus says (while praying to God) “And this is the way to have eternal life—to know you (God), the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth.” Eternal life means that even though we physically die, we will live again in heaven.

You Just Never Know...

Life is one of God’s most precious gifts. Actually it’s probably the most precious one. It’s the gift that makes all the other ones possible if you will. But what I am contemplating today is what happens when that gift is gone…unexpectantly? We have it one day we use it, play with it, we live with it. And then one day as we are going through our day…it’s gone. Just like that. Eyes closed. Breathing stopped. Being no more. What then? We are never really ready to hear those words or face those facts. For a while it is almost as if it is a dream, the fact that the gift is gone. People are born everyday and they die everyday. What always seems to plaque my mind is...that person.  Before they die…what was there last thought? What was there last word? What about the last thing they saw or heard? How about the minutes before? For those who die in a car accident, can you imagine when they place their hands on the handle and open the door? Or as they are driving down the road just before they hit that final curve? We always hear in these unfortunate situations, “You just never know…”. Seems like I hear that from dozens of people per situation. But what does that mean, “You just never know”? It always seems like people give it a brief thought in that moment and then it vanishes until the next time and then they say “You just never know”. But what do you do with that…the not knowing? How do you cope with it? Make sense of it? How do you handle the “you just never know” moments in your own life? What if in just that moment God allows the clock to pause? He gives you 60 seconds to ponder your life, the last thing you said to your spouse or a parent? Did you apologize for hurting your friend? Was that 20 year grudge against your sister worth it? Did your child really know just how much you really loved them? Well, I haven’t been in that situation, obviously, so I don’t know if you get that moment. But what I do know is at that moment…its too late, because at the end of those 60 seconds…well you know the rest. This morning the Holy Spirit said to me, sometimes you never know how precious life is until it becomes a memory. Stop for a moment, perhaps 60 seconds, and ponder your life. More importantly, ponder your relationship with God. Could it be better? (for ALL, the answer is yes). What do I need to work on or clean up? We all should come to realize this gift is from God and he controls it. God plans the date of birth and the date of death. He gives us the dash between those dates. What are we doing with them? Ephesians 5:15-16 says “Therefore be careful how you live -- not as the unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity...” 

All In How You Look at It...

Okay, so my next thought came to me as I was lying in bed one night. I was having a conversation with a friend who is having a hard time right now. Finances, love life, job, etc, you name it and she was dealing with it. Now, as a Christian, I am supposed to listen and give encouragement. Now it is very easy for me to say to her, ‘be patient, God is going to work it out, just wait on Him”. That sounds right doesn’t it? Does it? Well certainly it is good advice and in a perfect world that would be easy to do. But what about someone who has waited; maybe they have been faithful. They have waited and waited and nothing seems to change. Nothing seems to work out. What do you tell them then? Psalm 27:14 says “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.” But how do you do this when nothing seems to be going right? How do you explain this to someone who is new to the faith? I mean people who have been believers for years still struggle with this. John 14:1 says,”Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.” It really is according to the level or abundance of your faith. It’s like that concept of the power of positive thinking. As long as we think negative or expect negative things, that’s what we will continue to receive. But for a child of God it goes a lot deeper than just thinking positive. Further in that same chapter of John at verse 21 it says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” There is power in taking things to God and leaving them there. How do you do this? It goes back to the scripture that talks about being transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2). Now the first part of this verse says do not be conformed by this world, now most of the time when we hear this we think about sin, but let’s look at this in a different way. The world today, has the mentality of self-reliance, the “it’s-all-about me” syndrome. I think what this scripture is saying is don’t think like the world. The world will look at a crisis and see no way out or being at a point of no return. We as believers should see things differently. We have to get out of the worldly way of thinking. We can’t mold our way of thinking to what the world or society says. Take someone who has lost a job, the world may say, this is devastating, this is really bad. But a believer would say, God is in control and somehow (even though I can’t see it) this will work out for my good. Now, I know this isn’t easy it’s not an over-night realization. But that bring be to my next point. The next part says but be transformed, which signifies change, by the renewing of your mind. To get to this point in faith there has to be a transferring or transforming from the old (worldly) way of thinking to the faithful way of thinking. Some other words for renew are, repair, restore, replenish. Each of these words begin with the prefix re- meaning ‘again’ or ‘back’, so another way of looking at the word renew is to be new-again or back to new. When we first began our Christian walk we were new and excited and had faith beyond belief. Some where along the way we came down off of our mountain of transfiguration and started seeing things through human eyes. We have to go back to the new and become new again with our mind… the way we think. Make our mind fresh again, revive our faith. Faith is like our spiritual eye contact. It helps us to see things clearer and correctly! And lets go a step further, when you where contacts you have to have the solution or the drops…the drops represent the word of God and the bottle (that the solution comes in is the Holy Spirit). When we squeeze that Holy Spirit, it releases drops of the word in our faith contacts and helps us to see better…To be continued!!!

But I'm Only Human Part II...:Desires of the Flesh?

Okay so a few days after writing the previous post and after a conversation with my best friends...the Holy Spirit, I believe, answered the question for me. The question about why the desires of the flesh are still so much stronger that the desires of the Spirit, with in us. Most of us are at a stage where we know right from wrong. We know what the word says and how to obey it. We know what we are supposed to stay away from and what we are not supposed to yield to. But the fact that we “just want to” is an issue...but why? Well let’s go back to the beginning....that's right: the Forbidden fruit. Genesis 3:1 "And he [the serpent] said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?" and verse 5 "For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil." and verse 6 "And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat..." so what is my point? My point is God designed certain things to be done a certain way and in a certain order or time. There was a reason he said don’t eat of the forbidden tree. He knew the consequences! For instance...sex...is only supposed to be between a man and a woman after matrimony. But we engage in it before marriage, therefore yielding to and biting the forbidden fruit which now produces a tug of war between what is right and good and what feels right and good with in us. God knew that our bodies would become chemically attached to those feeling and would continue to seek that satisfaction. We are torn between that fleshful temptation and the Spirit. We are like Eve, we knew we shouldn't...we knew it was wrong but we took the bite anyway. And God knew that we would struggle with this, but it was not intended to be a struggle. It’s like trying to put a left shoe on a right foot. The shoe is designed and crafted for a particular foot of a particular shape. But we instead, in haste and curiosity…try to force that left shoe on the wrong foot and struggle, when in reality the struggle is not necessary (okay I know that was kind of out there but I think you get that point). He designed sex to be a joyous time between husband and wife…for them to long and desire for each other once they become one. But we did this backwards...we gave in to the sexual temptation and now the longing that a wife or husband should have for a spouse we have for our non-married counterparts. And now we are struggling with the desires and the pull of the flesh because we bit the apple. God knew this would happen and tried to warn us...but we didn't listen. So our desires are natural but they may be out of order...

But I'm Only Human...

Contrary to what others have said and what I have said myself, this Christian journey is not as hard as we make it out to be. There are some things that come against us that are outside of our control (some sicknesses, disaster, loss, etc.) that test our faith. But the main reason we struggle is because of our own disobedience. Our own failure to heed God’s word. Now I know we are all human and made of flesh. I know that we are not perfect and we do make mistakes; but how many times have we used that as an excuse, “I’m only human” “everyone makes mistakes”. But the bible says “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Cor. 10:13 KJV). Meaning, for a child of God, there is no temptation to strong for you to resist; God will provide a way out. Now, this is not just regarding sexual temptation, but what about temptation to lie, to cheat, steal, to act on anger, to curse, etc. Often we hear the saying God won’t put more on us than we can bear, and though that isn’t an actual passage in the bible, it refers to this verse. So then why do we continue to struggle? Why does this seem so hard to do? Well for a couple of reasons. Satan is always present the bible says he is “…as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8 KJV). It is his job to come and to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). So how are we supposed to make it work if we are up against some roaring lion trying to kill us, let’s finish the verse, “I [Jesus] am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” We have a way out but we don’t seem to take it. Okay so here we are again at square one! We are struggling, we have a big lion trying to kill us, but there is a way out of all temptation, but I am still struggling. Why? Why aren’t we able to resist temptations? Simply put, WE DON’T WANT TO. When we really want something, we do whatever it takes to get it. When we want a car or a house or other items we take out loans, max out credit cards, create unnecessary debt. When see that man or woman that we want, we will stop at nothing to get to them. Even on the positive note, when we want to accomplish a certain career we make sure we have the education to be most successful at it. But when it comes to righteous living, we make tons of excuses, why we don’t come to church, why we don’t read our bible, why we don’t have time to pray, why we can’t fast, why we can’t get our relationship with God on track. We are pretty much a bunch of whining babies; but let the latest Blackberry come out and we will camp out over night, may even miss a bill or two to get it. Let that special person call us at the right time, bye-bye bible study hello dinner for two. Now I get that there are some people who have real struggles with addictions, I am not attempting to belittle those people. That is another discussion which I may not be qualified to address. But even in some of those situations this may apply. Most of the time when we are faced with a temptation and we give into it, it’s because we want it. Sounds simple, you maybe saying “well duh, if I didn’t want it I wouldn’t be tempted by it”, and you would be correct, but what are we really saying in those moments of yielding? Because we are making a choice! Because we are the children of God, born again believers, the Holy Spirit lives within us. He is our advocate our comforter he is there to direct us on the right path. So there is no doubt that when we are faced with those moments, the Holy Spirit, shines that light bulb or raises that caution flag. But when we decide to give in, sin, disobey, however you want to say it we are inevitably saying: 

God right now this ________ (fill in the blank) is more important than you. I know I will be punished; I know you will be disappointed and hurt; I also know that this will cause a rift in our relationship, but right now, this is more important than you. WOW!!! What if each time we gave in, God made you sign a statement saying: I ________ (name) hereby knowingly and willingly give into_______ (temptation). I also state I have been made aware of any and all possible escapes and am freely deciding to reject such assistance. Sign your name________________. 

Sounds crazy right? Well, if we think about it, and if God’s word is true (which it is) that it’s pretty much what we are saying. How many times have we said to ourselves, “I shouldn’t have done that” or “I shouldn’t have let that happen”? The flesh indeed is weak! But God is strong! He said in James 4:7 “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” So we need to ask ourselves, why isn’t my desire to please God stronger that my desire to disobey? We need to finally realize this truth. No more blaming the devil, he may present the chocolate cake to us but it is our decision to take the slice and eat it. Until we identify that flaw within us we can't or won't address the issue. We need to do some serious soul searching and praying about that. Ask God to reveal to us the cause of our misplaced desire and to remove those things from our lives or heart. I think another major problem, besides the roaring lion and our disobedience, is that we know the word, we just don’t apply it or fully apply it. We know:
Matthew 6:33, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
Romans 8:11 “But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.”,
2 Corinthians 12:10 “…for when I am weak, then am I strong.”
Romans 8:38 “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
 

We know these scriptures. But there is little power in knowing. Power comes from wisdom and what is wisdom…applied knowledge. Without the application, the knowledge is useless. If I tell you I have a check for $10,000 dollars for you, you know the information, but if you don’t apply it to your bank account you won’t be able to use it or you won’t have it when you need it. Such is with the knowledge of God’s word, it is great to know it, but if we don’t apply it to our lives then that power that God gave us (Romans 8:11) is never activated. Now what is the purpose of having power in a house and never turning the lights on?

I like this formula: KNOWLEDGE+APPLICATION=WISDOMPOWER. And it is with that power that we can ”Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free” (Galatians 5:1). Now we are not going to get it right all the time, like I stated before no one is perfect, but we don’t need to use that as an excuse or to reason in our minds the cause of our action. We should continue to pray to God and ask Him to cleanse us of all unrighteousness and to keep our paths straight.